And the LORD spake unto Moses and unto Aaron, and gave them a charge unto the children of Israel Exodus 6:13
Time and again God has told Moses of the mission He expected him to accomplish, but repeatedly Moses presented excuses, in particular, focusing on his own inadequacies. In the end God commanded him to just 'go!' In life the Lord gives us frequent confirmations that He is with us in our future plans, but we excurse ourselves because of our own limitations. Stop looking within and 'go' - know of a surety He is with you and will always support you. (Choice Gleanings, June 7, 2010)
I've been pondering for a wee while now, how to encapsulate and record almost 15 years of history into one post- and I can't! So it will come out in three hopefully not ridicuously long posts. In this first post as the title suggests, I hope to explain what the purpose is of this blog. The second will be the path God has taken me on to bring me here, and the last will be the plans going forward from this point. And if my roommate G is reading this I know she will enjoy my bit of alliteration!
So, what's with the title of this blog- "now therefore go". These are the words of God to Moses when God sent Moses to lead His people out of Egypt. See, Moses and I have alot in common! Well, at least around the middle of his story- I don't think 'the meekest man in all the earth' would be an apt description of me, despite how quiet I appear!
Well, God told Moses "I've got a job for you- you're gonna lead my people out of Egypt, so go down to Egypt and get started" But Moses responded "What me? Who am I???" So God told him "relax- I'll go with you!" But again Moses responded "But how do I know this is really You Jehovah?" So again God patiently reassures His servant "you let the people know I AM WHO I AM has sent you" (wow! thems powerful words! I've always had to stop and ponder those words- I am the Perfectly Complete One, I am the All Sufficient and All Sufficing One, I always have been and always will be, I AM). But again Moses raises another (logical in my mind) concern- "But what if they don't believe me???? What if they mock me and laugh at me and tell me I imagined it all??? And for the third time God patiently reassures His chosen vessel "I'll give you a sign- in fact I'll give you 3!"
Now I don't know about you, but this is starting to sound a bit like an argument. But lets go back and listen again
For the fourth time Moses questions God and says "Oh Lord! I don't know how to speak! I can't think quick enough on my feet and I've never been good at sharing things with people." And for the fourth time God patiently reassures Moses "Listen- I made mouths and tongues and speech, I'll go with you and give you the words to say. Now therefore go!"
Finally Moses, who hasn't been able to get out of the tasks yet exclaims "Not me Lord! Don't send me! Can't you find someone else???" 'And the anger of the Lord was kindled against Moses and He said "is there not Aaron your brother? Behold, he shall speak for you and shall be your mouth."'
Now therefore go!
I can understand Moses' arguments; there are four of them:
1) Who am I???- I am nothing really...
2) How do I really know this is You? - maybe I'm imagining this, maybe I want this so I'm making it up? Maybe the Powers of the Air are playing with me...
3) What if no one believes me?
4) I am not good at speaking and telling others about what I believe
Moses' arguments are my arguments- I'm not anyone special, I'm just an average sort of person really. I'm not sure sometimes... ok often... when God is really speaking to me. I'm still trying to sort between that inner voice and God's voice. I never expect people to believe me, to take me seriously- I am after all, just an average sort of person, why should people believe that God has spoken to me. And definitely, the last one- I so much prefer my safe little corner, with not too much light, and a lot of shadow because then its safe, I don't have to think about things that are uncomfortable or hard to figure out and I don't have to expose myself. (But as much as I think I love that safe little corner, I know I could never be happy there)
How many many times have I argued within my self and with God- there's no way that I could ever be called, no way that I'd ever have the courage to go, no way that I'd ever have the conviction that I ought to go and definitely no way that I'd ever be getting on the plane to actually go. Yet all the while knowing, that likely this is exactly what would happen.
It has always been important to me to be surrendered to God's plan for me and His will for my life. So the prayer 'I'll go if You say the word 'go' " is a familiar one to me. And now, without a doubt (almost, because I'm a waffle, and am never 100% about anything) God has stepped in and said "I chose you and this is the plan I have for you." And He has also used many stories of those 'who have gone on before' to help guide me and reassure me also. Since June 2010, when I first read that Choice Gleaning Calendar, through Moses' story and many others, I have been convicted that God's call for me, His plan for at least the next little while, is to uproot me and transplant me into the bush in Zambia to serve Him in whatever capacity He sees fit, for as long as He sees fit.
So the purpose of the blog: they say there are times when you question your calling, when you wonder if you really heard God's voice, if you really are where He wants you to be. I know alot about questioning God and myself, and the reality of my convictions and experiences. So this blog is purposed to stand as a testimony to myself and to others who read it that He has done this. That through His calling and choosing, He has asked me to travel with Him to the bush of Zambia and fulfil His commands there to 'go into all the world, to make disciples of all men and to love one another'. I'm not exactly sure what this will look like for me, but I'm excited to get started and see where He leads.
That they may see, and know, and consider, and understand that the hand of the Lord hath done this
Isaiah 41:20
Come and hear, all you that fear God, and I will declare what He hath done
Psalm 66:16
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