What do I tell them? For at least 3 weeks now I have been writing and discarding post after post... There is so much to share with you, but for much of it I can't find the words to describe. I want to be as honest with you as I have been in the past, but the words escape me. These past two months have been hard months, but they have been good months. So much learning, so much growing, so many eye opening experiences; where do I begin?
In hospital, my comfort and skill set are growing daily. Wards rounds and dressing changes take up most of the day. So many days I feel absolutely inadequate for the task before me, so many days it is only the grace of God, wonderful grace, that holds me through. So many crash course experiences in a day. I have always believed that experience is worth more than education, but I have to say something for being 'educated' prior to the experience. I have learned general anesthesia recently during a laparotomy where the patient was under a GA. While I love babies and kiddies, Maternity was never a particular interest for me, but now I love it (still not sure I want to be the one on the bed tho :P). I think its being part of something and seeing results, good results hopefully. Wound management is the same way, I love being part of something and having the struggle to see it successfully through stages until it is healed. But so many cases here I find I am at a loss of what to do, so many new wound types to experience. But its good, and every once in a while I hit on something I know, or a wound heals successfully and its so much more exciting after a struggle. I've been helping out in the Colony also with long term TB and leprosy patients. This is more of a follow up, maintenance for chronic patients, but there is an amazing opportunity to get to know these people and be part of their lives and show them they are loved and valued. I have two sweet little boys that come every 3 weeks for treatment for their Burkett's Lymphoma. I admire their patience and cooperativeness: as we struggle to get IV access to give the meds they will cry but they are very accepting of what needs to be done. While I was living at my mom's house before I came here I downloaded a ton of kiddie music to my phone for my nephew's entertainment... it has proved very useful here too to keep the kiddies entertained during the almost hour long treatment. :). Surgery has moved from the dislike category to apathetic. Its much more interesting having a job in theatre whether as the anesthetist or the scrub nurse, but definitely not something I'd want to be doing on a daily basis.
This month is rather a quiet month for extra activities. The children are off from school so the colony Sunday School that I try to attend every other Sunday has not been on, but its kinda nice to have a few extra hours on Sunday to do stuff with (like try to catch up on emails :S). Although, this month is almost over and which means so are my free Sunday afternoons. The Colony Sewing Class has not been stopped however and about two weeks back I gave a message to the ladies... I missed the joint lessons I'd give with my roommates, but speaking through translation does give one time to collect thoughts.
Language continues to be an ongoing climb, but it was really exciting in the last couple weeks to have locals fluent in Lunda ask me how long I had been here and then say I knew Lunda very well... ha! I am good at giving commands, that's the easy part :). But between my one verb tense and the imperative I have been managing to communicate what I want or need. Of course, it doesn't help very much in question asking ;) So trying to actually pay attention and understand when people are speaking to me is next on my list of things to focus on.
I realize this is only a quick overview and doesn't hardly touch on anything. But words continue to escape me. So for now, this is all I can give. These past two months have been hard months, but they have been good months. I have been learning and growing and some days it is so difficult, it is only God's grace, but there are other days when I can see so much accomplish and growth. In both I can and will rejoice- His grace, as always, is enough!
My grace is enough for you. My strength is made perfect in your weakness!
