How long has it been since you talked with the Lord?
And told Him your heart's hidden secrets
How long since you prayed?
How long since you stayed
On your knees till the light shone through?
How long has it been since your mind felt at ease?
How long since your heart knew no burden?
Can you call Him your friend?
How long has it been
since you knew that He cared for you?
How long has it been? I am blessed to have had a mother who talked to us children about God, who had texts up on every wall to speak to herself and her little 'mission field', who prayed for our salvation and prays even now for us to follow Him closely. I always knew about God's great sacrifice and at a young age realized what it meant for me. I grew up praying and did not need much encouragement to read my Bible (I probably struggle with those more now than ever I did as a child). God has always been my reality.
I can call Him my friend, I know that He cares for me, that He loves me and that I love Him. I know that I love talking with Him, I am thrilled by the little surprises He sends my way a million times in a day. I know that walking with Him is the greatest adventure ever given to us.
so why is it that so often I hug my burdens to myself?
Why is it, when I know that He knows and that He cares, I wrap myself in my hurts and disappointments and sorrows and allow myself to wonder 'does God really care?'
Why is it that sometimes I can actually let the thoughts linger 'God is out to get me; God wants to take away everything good in my life; God doesn't want me to be happy.' ?
Why is it that I turn to other things instead of Him to ease the ache that can grow inside?
Why is it that I forget to ask, to pray, to share, to pour out my heart to Him?
He tells us 'come boldly before the throne of His grace'.
Sometimes I read this as a command and other times it seems to me to be a plea 'come my child, come the Love of my Heart, come to me and tell me everything, you don't have to be afraid, you don't have to worry, I already know, my grace has already covered it, come as you are, just come and talk to Me.'
And yet, I allow myself to think 'God is probably sick of hearing me; God knows this already; I'm sure He's tired of hearing from me on the same subject, the same fears, the same struggles, the same sins, the same hurts, the same confusion. Why bring it up again?' And so time slips away, moment by moment by day and I hug to myself my thoughts and burdens like some sort of security blanket.
But, ever so patiently, God places in my path, in my heart His word, His voice 'that's ok little daughter, it's been a long time, come tell me again and let me comfort you.' And He does.
Some times I almost miss it, some times its such a small thing that I almost think that can't be it, sometimes its so huge I can hardly believe it. One day it was a package in the mail that I never thought I'd see, another day it was a letter, or sometimes its a good visit with friends; those tend to be the big things, the things I talk about for weeks and sometimes months after.
But today, its a small thing, and its enough. I have my eyes back where they belong, my heart open once again to the healing love of my Saviour, and the courage to press forward when fear is screaming 'go back go back'. Today its a simple verse that came up on my fb wall of all places, but today God knew I needed this, today this is my reminder that I am God's and He has me in His hands. Today He told me 'be strong and have courage, don't be afraid and don't allow discouragement to overtake you. The Lord your God is with you wherever you go'
How long has it been since you knelt by your bed
And prayed to the Lord up in heaven?
How long since you knew that He’d answer you
And would keep you the long night through?
How long has it been since you woke with the dawn
And felt that the day’s worth the living?
Can you call Him your friend?
How long has it been
since you knew that He cared for you?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fe_kllNKXE0
