Thursday 3 May 2012

My 1500$ Text Book

wow that's an expensive text book! Actually there's a whole course that goes along with it so I guess its not so bad! ;) This is the third text book and course now- the final one in the Enterostomal Therapist program. This is the one I've been waiting for: Acute and Chronic Wounds. And I'm so excited to take it. Well, mostly! You see there's alot of emotions and thoughts around this course. For one- just the thought of taking another course is stressful; I've basically been in school for 18mos straight now, plus working full time. I think I may have sanity issues ;) And then there was the excitement of being able to do something different for a while besides just focus on school work and studying. Especially with the Missionary Orientation Program coming up: I had hoped to spend some time preparing for that. And my sunday school class- actually being able to focus on preparing a lesson for my kiddies. And most importantly, I had been looking forward to having more time to focus on deepening my relationship with God. I think that's the hardest thing to work into this race track that has become my life.

So I had planned to take the summer off school and rest (while still doing full time hours at work :S) and focus on deepening relationships, with my God and my family and the kids in the sunday school and teen night classes. But I came home from Fredericton Conf. on Monday and well, circumstances and God changed my plans pretty much overnight. So the new plan is to go part time at work (haven't told the manager yet) and to continue on with this course. And now that it's settled I'm pretty ok with it- a little nervous about getting enough shifts at work to support myself, But I know that God will provide- and that's not just words either, I"ve seen Him do it! But it's a little nerve wracking when its one's own life than when one is watching it happen in another's life.

But back to my text book- what's the big deal about getting a text book in the mail, I mean its part of the course right? Well, sorta- the course is one thing. I know God directed me to take that course and He will support me through it. But the text book, well, can I say my heart began to ache when I saw that? I love wound care (I know- that sounds so weird! And maybe in one of these posts I'll explain it) and I love the professional role of the Enterostomal Therapist (never thought I"D say I love a professional role- that's not really me!)  but I also know that I will likely never practice here in Canada. I find that thought so hard to comprehend. I love working with the ET nurse for my nursing unit, I love being that consultant on the unit and assessing and recommending for the other nurses, I LOVE the learning and the challenge and all the new treatments and methods of treatment and products that are being researched and innovated and created. But. But! Well, but. God has planned otherwise- and believe me: I am not complaining! But realizing how much I love this profession makes it difficult to make the decision to give it up. This post could have been called- "One Life to Live" and that would be equally true. If I had another life to live, wound care is what I would pick. But I have this one life and that's it and well, I guess my text book will serve its purpose for these three months and then get put on the bookshelf in whatever country that bookshelf may happen to end up! ;) I guess I had a little mourning period when I received it- but that will pass...

hmm... so many thoughts that a simple text book can generate! .....

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