Friday, 24 May 2013
There's nothing like a flat tire to remind you of your helplessness.
Thankfully, my flat tire was noticed 15 seconds after leaving the parking lot of my mom's apartment, 20 seconds from my mom's office
2 minutes from the nearest Canadian Tire.
But what if I had been in Zambia? I couldn't help but turn my mind there. It happened once when I was there. We waited 12 hours before someone was able to come with a spare tire and change it.
How would I have handled it? Would I have panicked? Would I have coped? Would I have complained to God that He is unfair letting this happen? I don't even know how to change a tire! Right now, its a trifle inconvenient- I was on my way to visit a friend in the next town over. I can't now. But my car is in the shop and by this evening I should have it back. And it just becomes an interesting story.
He is enough. I mull the words over on the walk home, savouring each one. Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the one who trusts in Him.
A friend txt'd that to me the other day. I can still feel her confidence as she communicated this simple truth. He is enough.
Enough.
It conjures images of supply, of needs met, of provision. Of a people, so numerous- millions?- and daily little wafer cakes provided as they trekked through a desert. Enough! Of a woman who trusted what the prophet of God said and was carried through a famine with a little flour and a little oil. Enough! She and her boy and the prophet had just enough to eat. Of a man on a mountain with his son. The Friend of God sacrificing his son at God's request. The boy asking, "father, we have the fire and the wood for the burnt offering but where is the lamb? And the response: 'God will provide Himself a lamb'. And He does, a ram caught by its horns in the thicket. Enough!
I picture that Lamb provided. The Paschal Lamb. Christ- the Anointed One. Christ is enough. And we who were dead in trespasses and sins He has made alive. Enough! Sins forgiven. Peace made. Eternal security procured.
Yes, my heart cries in response, yes I have tasted and yes He is good and yes He is enough and yes happy is the one who trusts in Him.
Its simple- a flat tire- but its in these little experiences that God teaches us big lessons. He is enough. He will provide. Because the time will come when the flat tire is not just outside my door, just down the road from the service shop, just a minor inconvenience and how will I respond then? I will know- He is enough. He will provide. And I will praise Him for who He is- El Shaddai.
Exciting update! My departure date had been set, the ticket is mine, and the plans are made! Praise God for these gifts!
I leave the 28th of June (still a month away), I arrive in Dublin Ireland where I will spend 4 days visiting my Aunt and Uncle and their family. I depart Dublin on the 3rd and arrive in Lusaka on the 4th. After a quick day of shopping, I will fly on to the mission station on the 5th.
My work permit has also been acquired, but (welcome to Africa) there are no employment booklets, so I have the receipt. But I've been assured this is enough and I can be assertive to that end (we'll see how well that happens) ;-)
The exciting thing is- its finally coming to be! Praise God- He is enough!
My grace is enough for you. 2 Corinthians 12:9
Sunday, 21 April 2013
Dear Rykauna, Angel and Cher,
Ladies, I am so thrilled to have witnessed tonight this step in your walk with Christ! Baptism is a visual picture of what happened when we accepted Christ as Saviour; it is a public declaration of one's commitment to Christ and is the fruit of what He has planted in our hearts. These are the things which I and many others see growing in your hearts and lives. It has been a privilege to watch you grow and mature as individuals and in your spiritual life. Each of you have developed into unique, wonderful young women and each with a vibrant passion for the things of God.
Rykauna, I have known you the longest, since you were just a little girl. I was there the night you came home from Gospel Meeting and said "It's settled. Accepting Christ is just like accepting a gift." I have watched you mature into the thoughful, caring special young woman that you are today. Your knowledge of the Bible impresses me. You have a good grasp of the stories and the chronology and are becoming adept at applying its teachings to your life. Can I encourage you to really study your Bible and memorize it? I didn't believe it at your age, but it really does get harder as you get older. Start now and hide more of it in your heart!
Angel, you are all sweetness and gentleness. Your eagerness to get to know God is admirable. Read God's word and apply it to your daily experiences, pray and live in the moment by moment realization of God's presence with you and you will see Him always at your right hand. I have also noticed that you have a particular ability to know what things are of Christ and which are not, continue to try the spirits to see whether they are of God, this will help you in your walk.
Cher, your enthusiasm for science and seeing the scriptures through a scientists' eyes is awesome. You remarked the other day that when you study science you have to come to the opinion that God is true. Evidently that is not the case as there are more secular scientists than scientists that hold a christian worldview at this point in history. But your conviction that studying the intricacies of the micro and macro world can only lead one to the realization that there must be a Creator is commendable. Keep studying and seeing Christ in the world around you! And keep studying your Bible so that you can better understand who this God is that you have chosen to follow.
Girls, our Lord mentions that "there is great joy in heaven over one sinner that repents than over 99 good people who don't need to repent". There was joy in heaven the moment each of you repented and took Christ as Saviour and Lord. But John writes later that he has "no greater joy than to hear that his children walk in faith". Ladies, for a while now, but tonight especially you have given those who have taught and mentored you throughout your life that 'greater joy' to know that our children (ok young women :D) are walking in faith. Keep walking!
Paul urges us to walk in a manner worthy of our calling and this girls is what I really what to pass on to you. Its not easy! There are a thousand and one things to distract. Our enemies (you know the three) are always standing by and not just standing they are active. "I charge you walk in a manner worthy of God"! Can I say it enough times?! "Walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, be pleasing to Him, bear fruit in every good work, increase in the knowledge of God".
The Psalmist said "my heart is fixed, trusting in the Lord" Sisters fix your hearts! Like Ezra, "settle it in your hearts to study the law of the Lord and to do it and to teach it"; and Daniel who "purposed in his heart he would not defile himself"; "let your heart be wholly true to the Lord our God walking in his statutes". "Be an example of the believers" or as another version gives it: "Be an example to the believers. Show in your lives what it means to walk worthy of our calling in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. As for you [women] of God pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith! I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Christ Jesus to keep these things whole heartedly until the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ which God will bring about in His own time. He is the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone has immortality, who dwells in unapproachable light, whom no one has ever seen or can see. To him be honor and eternal dominion. Amen."
I am thrilled to see you grow and mature and I pray that you will continue in faith as you have begun so well. "Guard what has been entrusted to you". "Walk worthy for He who calls you is faithful"
your loving sister in the Lord
For by grace are you saved, through faith and not of yourselves. It is the gift of God, not by works. This is so no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8,9
We were buried therefore with Him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ as raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. Romans 6:4
Ladies, I am so thrilled to have witnessed tonight this step in your walk with Christ! Baptism is a visual picture of what happened when we accepted Christ as Saviour; it is a public declaration of one's commitment to Christ and is the fruit of what He has planted in our hearts. These are the things which I and many others see growing in your hearts and lives. It has been a privilege to watch you grow and mature as individuals and in your spiritual life. Each of you have developed into unique, wonderful young women and each with a vibrant passion for the things of God.
Rykauna, I have known you the longest, since you were just a little girl. I was there the night you came home from Gospel Meeting and said "It's settled. Accepting Christ is just like accepting a gift." I have watched you mature into the thoughful, caring special young woman that you are today. Your knowledge of the Bible impresses me. You have a good grasp of the stories and the chronology and are becoming adept at applying its teachings to your life. Can I encourage you to really study your Bible and memorize it? I didn't believe it at your age, but it really does get harder as you get older. Start now and hide more of it in your heart!
Angel, you are all sweetness and gentleness. Your eagerness to get to know God is admirable. Read God's word and apply it to your daily experiences, pray and live in the moment by moment realization of God's presence with you and you will see Him always at your right hand. I have also noticed that you have a particular ability to know what things are of Christ and which are not, continue to try the spirits to see whether they are of God, this will help you in your walk.
Cher, your enthusiasm for science and seeing the scriptures through a scientists' eyes is awesome. You remarked the other day that when you study science you have to come to the opinion that God is true. Evidently that is not the case as there are more secular scientists than scientists that hold a christian worldview at this point in history. But your conviction that studying the intricacies of the micro and macro world can only lead one to the realization that there must be a Creator is commendable. Keep studying and seeing Christ in the world around you! And keep studying your Bible so that you can better understand who this God is that you have chosen to follow.
Girls, our Lord mentions that "there is great joy in heaven over one sinner that repents than over 99 good people who don't need to repent". There was joy in heaven the moment each of you repented and took Christ as Saviour and Lord. But John writes later that he has "no greater joy than to hear that his children walk in faith". Ladies, for a while now, but tonight especially you have given those who have taught and mentored you throughout your life that 'greater joy' to know that our children (ok young women :D) are walking in faith. Keep walking!
Paul urges us to walk in a manner worthy of our calling and this girls is what I really what to pass on to you. Its not easy! There are a thousand and one things to distract. Our enemies (you know the three) are always standing by and not just standing they are active. "I charge you walk in a manner worthy of God"! Can I say it enough times?! "Walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, be pleasing to Him, bear fruit in every good work, increase in the knowledge of God".
The Psalmist said "my heart is fixed, trusting in the Lord" Sisters fix your hearts! Like Ezra, "settle it in your hearts to study the law of the Lord and to do it and to teach it"; and Daniel who "purposed in his heart he would not defile himself"; "let your heart be wholly true to the Lord our God walking in his statutes". "Be an example of the believers" or as another version gives it: "Be an example to the believers. Show in your lives what it means to walk worthy of our calling in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. As for you [women] of God pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith! I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Christ Jesus to keep these things whole heartedly until the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ which God will bring about in His own time. He is the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone has immortality, who dwells in unapproachable light, whom no one has ever seen or can see. To him be honor and eternal dominion. Amen."
I am thrilled to see you grow and mature and I pray that you will continue in faith as you have begun so well. "Guard what has been entrusted to you". "Walk worthy for He who calls you is faithful"
your loving sister in the Lord
For by grace are you saved, through faith and not of yourselves. It is the gift of God, not by works. This is so no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8,9
We were buried therefore with Him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ as raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. Romans 6:4
Thursday, 18 April 2013
Rushing
Rushing! Rushing! Rushing!
Everything! All the Time! Rushing!
This whole city seems to be rushing. Rushing to work, rushing home from work. Rushing to vacations and breaks. Rushing to new experiences, new places, new circumstances.
Or maybe its just me? Maybe its just because the last four months have been aimed at preparing to leave, preparing to go. There doesn't seem to be a minute outside of working, packing, studying, visiting. All of it enjoyable (ok! the studying not so much :S) but now its coming to a close
I moved my mattress out of my room today. The bed frame was gone long ago, and it was just the mattress. But they are coming today to take my mattress, my warbdrobe and my bookshelf, the three items that won't fit in my car. My room looks so empty without it... I can't believe its this time already! I can't believe its been three years- the time seems to have just flown! I also can't believe this crazy exam is on saturday- I'll be glad at least to have that finished :)
As excited as I am to move forward, I can't help but look back with a touch of sentiment. I have thoroughly enjoyed my time here and I have been so very blessed. Part of me can't help but wonder if I will find a place like this one again. I can't begin to recount the things that have made this place so dear....
My roommates who have taught me how to look at the world through different lenses and have demonstrated unconditional acceptance and some of the crazy escapades we've gotten up to (like burning pots and midnight visits to the local metro for ice cream and broken lawn tractors) and and and...
The many teen nights and exploring the world through the eyes of a teenager- we had some deep discussions. I will miss these girls and guys. Its been so awesome to watch them grow and develop and become young adults from gr 8 to gr 11- what a change!
And the sunday school- so much growth for myself, I have always hated presentations, but this excited me. Maybe it was the challenge of making exciting and thought provoking lessons for two girls who knew their Bibles very well. And then it morphed from teaching lessons to children into guiding young adults into critically thinking about the Bible and its teaching and applying it to our daily lives. I am in awe of the spiritual development of these kids, some who I have know since they were just kidlets. I count myself privileged to see the baptism of three of our girls.. Its so awesome to see these kids live their faith!
My 'Tante' who has always been there when I needed to chat or just wanted someone to share a hot chocolate with
The many colleagues who made my day just by being there. I work with some of the best people ever!
The colleagues that I called 'Auntie'- these ladies are awesome! I have learned so much from them about moment by moment walking with the Lord and always being ready to give an answer, and diligence at work, and showing love and calling upon the name of the Lord and ... and the list could go on!
The wound care nurse who always brightens my day when she comes up to visit... umm... I mean assess patients :)
you know, I'll also miss the colleagues asking 'the wound care nurse ordered this, where do I find it" or "Did you see what plastics ordered? Should we get wound care involved" or "Can you come assess this wound?" I will also miss- "I'll do your blood glucose checks, if you'll dress this wound for me" (sigh.... I think I have a one track mind :S) lol
I think most of all I'm gonna miss the way I have come to rely on seeing God work here. Its hard to explain- its not like I won't be seeing God work in a new setting, but it will be a different way, which is good, just different... It will require keeping my eyes open and building on lessons already learned and it will challenge ideas and ways of thinking that I have developed...
I'm kinda glad tho, that I've decided to push back my departure date by 6 weeks. I'm glad for the opportunity to visit with friends and spend time with my family and do all of that at leisure instead of cramming everything in along with trying to study for an exam and help with two moves. But I am still super glad that I only have five shifts left (not that I'm counting lol) :D
If I never have another prayer that's answered
Or have another blessing come my way
If this is all I know of heaven's kindness
then Father, I would still have to say
You have been good,
You've been so good
In so many ways you've been good to me
Everything! All the Time! Rushing!
This whole city seems to be rushing. Rushing to work, rushing home from work. Rushing to vacations and breaks. Rushing to new experiences, new places, new circumstances.
Or maybe its just me? Maybe its just because the last four months have been aimed at preparing to leave, preparing to go. There doesn't seem to be a minute outside of working, packing, studying, visiting. All of it enjoyable (ok! the studying not so much :S) but now its coming to a close
I moved my mattress out of my room today. The bed frame was gone long ago, and it was just the mattress. But they are coming today to take my mattress, my warbdrobe and my bookshelf, the three items that won't fit in my car. My room looks so empty without it... I can't believe its this time already! I can't believe its been three years- the time seems to have just flown! I also can't believe this crazy exam is on saturday- I'll be glad at least to have that finished :)
As excited as I am to move forward, I can't help but look back with a touch of sentiment. I have thoroughly enjoyed my time here and I have been so very blessed. Part of me can't help but wonder if I will find a place like this one again. I can't begin to recount the things that have made this place so dear....
My roommates who have taught me how to look at the world through different lenses and have demonstrated unconditional acceptance and some of the crazy escapades we've gotten up to (like burning pots and midnight visits to the local metro for ice cream and broken lawn tractors) and and and...
The many teen nights and exploring the world through the eyes of a teenager- we had some deep discussions. I will miss these girls and guys. Its been so awesome to watch them grow and develop and become young adults from gr 8 to gr 11- what a change!
And the sunday school- so much growth for myself, I have always hated presentations, but this excited me. Maybe it was the challenge of making exciting and thought provoking lessons for two girls who knew their Bibles very well. And then it morphed from teaching lessons to children into guiding young adults into critically thinking about the Bible and its teaching and applying it to our daily lives. I am in awe of the spiritual development of these kids, some who I have know since they were just kidlets. I count myself privileged to see the baptism of three of our girls.. Its so awesome to see these kids live their faith!
My 'Tante' who has always been there when I needed to chat or just wanted someone to share a hot chocolate with
The many colleagues who made my day just by being there. I work with some of the best people ever!
The colleagues that I called 'Auntie'- these ladies are awesome! I have learned so much from them about moment by moment walking with the Lord and always being ready to give an answer, and diligence at work, and showing love and calling upon the name of the Lord and ... and the list could go on!
The wound care nurse who always brightens my day when she comes up to visit... umm... I mean assess patients :)
you know, I'll also miss the colleagues asking 'the wound care nurse ordered this, where do I find it" or "Did you see what plastics ordered? Should we get wound care involved" or "Can you come assess this wound?" I will also miss- "I'll do your blood glucose checks, if you'll dress this wound for me" (sigh.... I think I have a one track mind :S) lol
I think most of all I'm gonna miss the way I have come to rely on seeing God work here. Its hard to explain- its not like I won't be seeing God work in a new setting, but it will be a different way, which is good, just different... It will require keeping my eyes open and building on lessons already learned and it will challenge ideas and ways of thinking that I have developed...
I'm kinda glad tho, that I've decided to push back my departure date by 6 weeks. I'm glad for the opportunity to visit with friends and spend time with my family and do all of that at leisure instead of cramming everything in along with trying to study for an exam and help with two moves. But I am still super glad that I only have five shifts left (not that I'm counting lol) :D
If I never have another prayer that's answered
Or have another blessing come my way
If this is all I know of heaven's kindness
then Father, I would still have to say
You have been good,
You've been so good
In so many ways you've been good to me
Monday, 25 March 2013
perplexing problems press
Jesus, Lord, I need Thy wisdom,
For perplexing problems press,
And without Thee I am foolish,
Nor can bear the strain and stress;
But if Thou wilt counsel me
I shall true and upright be.
I received an email on saturday. A good email. I think...
we were praying for you as you prepare to come here and
your brother's graduation was mentioned.
felt that if you want to stay for that, then you should.
It can be difficult in your first bit here and it would be even harder if you were wishing to be at home for an event.
sigh... and I am back to square one... And its not that its that HUGE of a deal right... its a date change of about 6weeks... But I already made the decision and I don't want to go back and have to revisit the issue (whine)...
But then I got thinking about it... maybe this is a gift from my Father... There is alot going on right now... I am still working full time and I have an exam to study for on April 20th and there are so many people to catch up with one last time and people keep reminding of meetings and so forth that I am supposed to be going to .. and.. and.. and.. I have 6 weeks left and I can't hardly find one moment of quiet. To have this extra 6 weeks... to be able to clear my schedule to study for my exam, to have 6 weeks afterward with nothing to do except help my mom settle into her new place, spend time wtih my family and visit with friends and spend time with God and study my Lunda and see my baby brother graduate from high school oh and another special event I wasn't gonna say anything right now, but to meet Jordan's new baby brother... maybe this is my Father looking out for me. I was reminded in a devotional this evening that sometimes when plans change its to remind us that we are not in control, God is. And He is not too busy or important or far away to be concerned with the minutest details of our lives. Maybe this is simply a gift...
But then the scripture verse come 'any man who puts his hand to the plow and turns back is not fit for the kingdom of God'. So is this a thought I should be listening to? I mean, it is from the Bible, it is God's word... but then i know that i am very good about coming up with every reason not to do something, especially if it is something different then what I had already planned... but... it is God's word. And there will always be some reason for me to want to be at home... Besides, I gave my word. I told them that I would be there in May... but if they don't mind, then maybe I shouldn't either... But to post pone an event that has been on the horizon for months, even if it is just for 6 weeks...
But it would be soo nice to have those extra 6 weeks...
Ever wished for a manual? I know, that's not walking by faith, but sometimes it would be nice... I guess I can't know in one night what decision to make. But I'll keep you posted! Just be prepared that if I decide to post pone the date anything planned before april 20th will need to be rebooked... I'll be buried alive under a mound of text books :D (and maybe a frappuccino)
Jesus, Lord, I need Thy guidance,
Fire by night, and cloud by day,
For without them I am sightless,
Groping for the proper way;
But if Thou dost lead me on
I will follow Thee alone.
Thursday, 21 March 2013
my constant companions
I am so excited for you that you are actually taking this step! I never thought I'd see this day :P but I'm so glad and I'm looking forward to following your journey over these next few months. I'm excited too that we will be able to share so many similar experiences (and I'm definitely still looking forward to all our plans to stay in touch :D )
The other day, one of my colleagues said to me, in relation to my leaving 'You are so brave'. I gave my stock answer in response 'It's only by the grace of God'. This is very true, it is only by God's grace, but I've been mulling over this past while just how true this is.
I read this book many years ago called 'Hinds Feet on High Places'- have you read it?
Basically its about this young woman named Much-Afraid who works for the Shepherd. The Shepherd's home is high up in the mountains and people who go there are given a new heart and made whole (did I mention she was also a cripple?) Anyway, after much fear and doubt and difficulties from her family Much Afraid finally starts out on her journey up the mountains. As her travelling companions, the Shepherd gives her two ladies named Sorrow and Suffering. Much Afraid complains to the Shepherd that her journey would be much easier and more attainable if only she could be given Peace and Joy to travel with and not two frightening, spectre- like ladies with such terrible names as Sorrow and Suffering. The Shepherd explains to her however that the journey can only be made successfully while she her hands are firmly grasping the hands of Sorrow and Suffering. She decides to go and after her journey (which you'll have to read the book to find out about) Sorrow and Suffering have been transformed into Peace and Joy and Much Afraid into Grace and Glory.
I got thinking after our chat about your plans and some of the indecisiveness that we both share. I seem to have been given two companions also to travel with me on this journey and I think you can relate to them also? - Mine are Doubt and Fear and like Much Afraid (only maybe more often) I complain to our Shepherd 'Why didn't You give me Courage and Faith as my companions because then I could make this journey successfully'. But He always seems to give a gentle smile and remind me "Child, when you started this journey with Me you were given everything you needed to successfully complete it" And that is definitely NOT the answer I want to hear, but it is the answer I need to hear because its the answer that reminds me my God is enough, He is my centre and my rock and His grace is enough for me.
I shared these few thoughts with you a while ago, but I've continued to mull over them. You see, whenever I read about fear or doubt in the Bible, while God shows an understanding and a patience towards them they are both ultimately condemned. He reminds us 365 times not to be afraid (there's a verse for all year) and Jesus was very patient with John's doubt while he was in prison and with Thomas also, but ultimately 'the fearful and the unbelieving ... shall have their part in the lake that burns with fire' and ' the one that wavers is like a wave of the sea for that person must not suppose he shall receive anything from the Lord'. Harsh words for someone who is often afraid of her own shadow and more often worries a decision to death.
But, in my ponderings, I seem to have come to two conclusions. The first is due in part to a discussion at the Waub Bible Study about that passage on Doubt in the letter of James. These people who are labelled fearful and unbelieving and double minded are ones who refuse to believe, refuse to acknowledge God's provision, and who refuse because they choose fear over faith and belief and trust. They are stubborn and rebellious. That's so different from the natural human tendency to worry over the 'whatifs'.
The other realisation that I have come to is that I don't have to travel with these two companions. What? Really?!!! While God has been able to use these companions in my life to teach me more about Him, these are not companions that come from Him - 'whatever is not of faith is sin' 'if you are not firm in faith you will not stand'. Doubt and fear were never in God's plan. But sorrow and suffering were... well... not originally for sure! But God has blessed these to use them to teach us more about Him and about how to be like Him. 'If we suffer with Him we shall also reign with Him' 'Suffering produces endurance and endurance produces character and character produces hope and hope does not put us to shame' 'Godly sorrow produces repentance'. But I find then when I step forward to do the task before me and not over analyse it - am I supposed to do this? What if its not God's will? What if I am criticised? What if I regret it? What if I hate it?- When I step forward and embrace the task and grasp hold of Sorrow and Suffering, Doubt and Fear fade and in their place are are the companions that I long to travel with Courage and Faith, and Peace and Joy. Then I begin to understand what James was meaning when he wrote 'my brothers count it all joy when you face various trials'.
Much Afraid almost didn't start her journey because of fear and doubt and very often I have been held back by those two. But I don't have to be! Sorrow and suffering are necessary to this journey and are blessed by God even though they are not often appreciated; but fear and doubt, they don't come from Him and they shouldn't ever be listened to as His voice because they will back you into a corner and hold you captive there and we are to take captive every thought not be held captive by every thought. We are blessed tho, we have a patient God who gently teaches us and who understands our weakness, who remembers we are dust. I love these thoughts from the 103rd Psalm
The Lord is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
He will not always chide,
nor will he keep his anger forever.
He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
For He knows our frame;
He remembers that we are dust. (Psalm 103)
I guess its time for new travelling companions!
Lord I would clasp my hand in Thine
And never murmur or repine
Content whatever lot I see
Since 'tis Thy hand that leadeth me.
The other day, one of my colleagues said to me, in relation to my leaving 'You are so brave'. I gave my stock answer in response 'It's only by the grace of God'. This is very true, it is only by God's grace, but I've been mulling over this past while just how true this is.
I read this book many years ago called 'Hinds Feet on High Places'- have you read it?
Basically its about this young woman named Much-Afraid who works for the Shepherd. The Shepherd's home is high up in the mountains and people who go there are given a new heart and made whole (did I mention she was also a cripple?) Anyway, after much fear and doubt and difficulties from her family Much Afraid finally starts out on her journey up the mountains. As her travelling companions, the Shepherd gives her two ladies named Sorrow and Suffering. Much Afraid complains to the Shepherd that her journey would be much easier and more attainable if only she could be given Peace and Joy to travel with and not two frightening, spectre- like ladies with such terrible names as Sorrow and Suffering. The Shepherd explains to her however that the journey can only be made successfully while she her hands are firmly grasping the hands of Sorrow and Suffering. She decides to go and after her journey (which you'll have to read the book to find out about) Sorrow and Suffering have been transformed into Peace and Joy and Much Afraid into Grace and Glory.
I got thinking after our chat about your plans and some of the indecisiveness that we both share. I seem to have been given two companions also to travel with me on this journey and I think you can relate to them also? - Mine are Doubt and Fear and like Much Afraid (only maybe more often) I complain to our Shepherd 'Why didn't You give me Courage and Faith as my companions because then I could make this journey successfully'. But He always seems to give a gentle smile and remind me "Child, when you started this journey with Me you were given everything you needed to successfully complete it" And that is definitely NOT the answer I want to hear, but it is the answer I need to hear because its the answer that reminds me my God is enough, He is my centre and my rock and His grace is enough for me.
I shared these few thoughts with you a while ago, but I've continued to mull over them. You see, whenever I read about fear or doubt in the Bible, while God shows an understanding and a patience towards them they are both ultimately condemned. He reminds us 365 times not to be afraid (there's a verse for all year) and Jesus was very patient with John's doubt while he was in prison and with Thomas also, but ultimately 'the fearful and the unbelieving ... shall have their part in the lake that burns with fire' and ' the one that wavers is like a wave of the sea for that person must not suppose he shall receive anything from the Lord'. Harsh words for someone who is often afraid of her own shadow and more often worries a decision to death.
But, in my ponderings, I seem to have come to two conclusions. The first is due in part to a discussion at the Waub Bible Study about that passage on Doubt in the letter of James. These people who are labelled fearful and unbelieving and double minded are ones who refuse to believe, refuse to acknowledge God's provision, and who refuse because they choose fear over faith and belief and trust. They are stubborn and rebellious. That's so different from the natural human tendency to worry over the 'whatifs'.
The other realisation that I have come to is that I don't have to travel with these two companions. What? Really?!!! While God has been able to use these companions in my life to teach me more about Him, these are not companions that come from Him - 'whatever is not of faith is sin' 'if you are not firm in faith you will not stand'. Doubt and fear were never in God's plan. But sorrow and suffering were... well... not originally for sure! But God has blessed these to use them to teach us more about Him and about how to be like Him. 'If we suffer with Him we shall also reign with Him' 'Suffering produces endurance and endurance produces character and character produces hope and hope does not put us to shame' 'Godly sorrow produces repentance'. But I find then when I step forward to do the task before me and not over analyse it - am I supposed to do this? What if its not God's will? What if I am criticised? What if I regret it? What if I hate it?- When I step forward and embrace the task and grasp hold of Sorrow and Suffering, Doubt and Fear fade and in their place are are the companions that I long to travel with Courage and Faith, and Peace and Joy. Then I begin to understand what James was meaning when he wrote 'my brothers count it all joy when you face various trials'.
Much Afraid almost didn't start her journey because of fear and doubt and very often I have been held back by those two. But I don't have to be! Sorrow and suffering are necessary to this journey and are blessed by God even though they are not often appreciated; but fear and doubt, they don't come from Him and they shouldn't ever be listened to as His voice because they will back you into a corner and hold you captive there and we are to take captive every thought not be held captive by every thought. We are blessed tho, we have a patient God who gently teaches us and who understands our weakness, who remembers we are dust. I love these thoughts from the 103rd Psalm
The Lord is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
He will not always chide,
nor will he keep his anger forever.
He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
For He knows our frame;
He remembers that we are dust. (Psalm 103)
I guess its time for new travelling companions!
Lord I would clasp my hand in Thine
And never murmur or repine
Content whatever lot I see
Since 'tis Thy hand that leadeth me.
Friday, 1 March 2013
28 shifts till I'm done work! And I am getting excited!
I can't believe its been just about a month since I last posted anything. But its been a full month! Besides working almost every other day (which maybe doesn't sound like a lot to those of you who work mon to fri...) I've spent nearly every spare minute off sorting through stuff and deciding what to keep and what to goodwill and what to pitch and some decisions have not been easy- I'm a bit of a pack rat! like when I went through my 'correspondance' folder in my filing cabinent I found cards from as far back as gr 8! Those were actually some of the hardest to decide to pitch! But there is an end in sight! And actually, its not just in sight... there are about 3 boxes of items that I wasn't sure what to do with and tossed them to the side, that's all that's left.
I guess if I wasn't such a procrastinator it may not have taken the whole month, but its so easy to start a movie and 'work' while watching the movie- which actually doubles the amount of time it takes to do something, did you know that???
But this month is to be mainly a month of rest. The way our schedule works I end up having about a week off at the beginning of the month and then about two weeks later having another week off. So I'm up and off to Midland to visit the family! My nephew's 3rd birthday is on the 15th and we go to see Veggie Tale's 20th birthday party on the 16th, the evening of my nephew's bday party. I can't wait to see how excited he is to meet LarryBoy (that's his favourite!) I also can't believe he is 3! But I'll spare you the gushing of a doting aunty! ;)
Seriously tho, I can't believe its just a little over 2 months before I go. I'm not sure I quite understand what it will mean to be away for a whole year (I'll miss my Favourite's 4th birthday, and my brother's high school grad and Christmas...). But then, a year is still only a short period of time really; my aunt n uncle were only able to get home avery 4 or 5 years and that's just from Ireland... I still wonder what it will be like to realize I am not coming home until may 2014... But y'know, I've been learning in these last few years that where ever God is I can be at home because I've been learning to make my home in Him... and besides, its not like it was before, now we have phone and email and text and skype!
The beloved of the Lord dwells in safety. The High God surrounds him all the day long and dwells between his shoulders. There is none like God who rides through the heavens to your help, through the skies in His majesty. The eternal God is your dwelling place and underneath are the everlasting arms. Who is like you! A people saved by the Lord, the shield of your help and the sword of your triumph!
God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved. Within her walls God has made Himself known as a fortress. You have kept count of my tossings, you have put my tears in your bottle. In the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by. I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfils His purpose for me. God will send out His steadfast love and His faithfulness.
My heart is steadfast O God, I will sing and make melody, I will give thanks to you. For your steadfast love is great to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds. Be exalted O God!
I can't believe its been just about a month since I last posted anything. But its been a full month! Besides working almost every other day (which maybe doesn't sound like a lot to those of you who work mon to fri...) I've spent nearly every spare minute off sorting through stuff and deciding what to keep and what to goodwill and what to pitch and some decisions have not been easy- I'm a bit of a pack rat! like when I went through my 'correspondance' folder in my filing cabinent I found cards from as far back as gr 8! Those were actually some of the hardest to decide to pitch! But there is an end in sight! And actually, its not just in sight... there are about 3 boxes of items that I wasn't sure what to do with and tossed them to the side, that's all that's left.
I guess if I wasn't such a procrastinator it may not have taken the whole month, but its so easy to start a movie and 'work' while watching the movie- which actually doubles the amount of time it takes to do something, did you know that???
But this month is to be mainly a month of rest. The way our schedule works I end up having about a week off at the beginning of the month and then about two weeks later having another week off. So I'm up and off to Midland to visit the family! My nephew's 3rd birthday is on the 15th and we go to see Veggie Tale's 20th birthday party on the 16th, the evening of my nephew's bday party. I can't wait to see how excited he is to meet LarryBoy (that's his favourite!) I also can't believe he is 3! But I'll spare you the gushing of a doting aunty! ;)
Seriously tho, I can't believe its just a little over 2 months before I go. I'm not sure I quite understand what it will mean to be away for a whole year (I'll miss my Favourite's 4th birthday, and my brother's high school grad and Christmas...). But then, a year is still only a short period of time really; my aunt n uncle were only able to get home avery 4 or 5 years and that's just from Ireland... I still wonder what it will be like to realize I am not coming home until may 2014... But y'know, I've been learning in these last few years that where ever God is I can be at home because I've been learning to make my home in Him... and besides, its not like it was before, now we have phone and email and text and skype!
The beloved of the Lord dwells in safety. The High God surrounds him all the day long and dwells between his shoulders. There is none like God who rides through the heavens to your help, through the skies in His majesty. The eternal God is your dwelling place and underneath are the everlasting arms. Who is like you! A people saved by the Lord, the shield of your help and the sword of your triumph!
God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved. Within her walls God has made Himself known as a fortress. You have kept count of my tossings, you have put my tears in your bottle. In the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by. I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfils His purpose for me. God will send out His steadfast love and His faithfulness.
My heart is steadfast O God, I will sing and make melody, I will give thanks to you. For your steadfast love is great to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds. Be exalted O God!
Monday, 4 February 2013
February's verses
The Lord is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to Him. Psalm 28:7
Chatutulililiyi wumi windi, diku kutunelukili kukena. Yumanu Wamuchimu 3:16
thanks Rykauna for the excellent verse selection!
This is how we are learning love because Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. The lesson has already been taught, the example has already been given. We can see what love is because Jesus Christ showed us. All that remains to be seen is how this will be worked out in our own lives. The remainder of the verse says 'and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers'. So how am I laying down my life for the people around me? I ought to be showing the love that I have learned 'at the feet of Jesus'
so, I had planned to work out the translation for the lunda verses, more for myself I guess.... but this verse is insane! All of the prefixes and suffixes!... I think what the translation for this would be:
chatutulililiyi ... the root of this word is possibly the verb tula which can mean 'to put down, as a load'
the 'liliyi' at the end makes the verb past tense... but its one of those fancy tenses that I haven't figured out in english yet ;) ... like the far past or... is there a continuous past? ... I don't know...
wumi is life, windi is his
diku ... I have no idea...
Kutunelukili ... I think the root of this word is 'iluka' which is the verb 'to know' ... but I'm not sure why there is an 'e' instead of an 'i'
kukena means 'to love'
so basically... 'laid down life his, we know love' ....
hmmm... well, at least of one the verses is easy enough to memorise.. that one is gonna need some serious remedial work in Zambia to figure out the correct pronounciation for those two big words
Chatutulililiyi wumi windi, diku kutunelukili kukena. Yumanu Wamuchimu 3:16
thanks Rykauna for the excellent verse selection!
This is how we are learning love because Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. The lesson has already been taught, the example has already been given. We can see what love is because Jesus Christ showed us. All that remains to be seen is how this will be worked out in our own lives. The remainder of the verse says 'and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers'. So how am I laying down my life for the people around me? I ought to be showing the love that I have learned 'at the feet of Jesus'
so, I had planned to work out the translation for the lunda verses, more for myself I guess.... but this verse is insane! All of the prefixes and suffixes!... I think what the translation for this would be:
chatutulililiyi ... the root of this word is possibly the verb tula which can mean 'to put down, as a load'
the 'liliyi' at the end makes the verb past tense... but its one of those fancy tenses that I haven't figured out in english yet ;) ... like the far past or... is there a continuous past? ... I don't know...
wumi is life, windi is his
diku ... I have no idea...
Kutunelukili ... I think the root of this word is 'iluka' which is the verb 'to know' ... but I'm not sure why there is an 'e' instead of an 'i'
kukena means 'to love'
so basically... 'laid down life his, we know love' ....
hmmm... well, at least of one the verses is easy enough to memorise.. that one is gonna need some serious remedial work in Zambia to figure out the correct pronounciation for those two big words
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