A Fun Challenge

so I read about this on someone else's blog and kinda thought it would be fun to do... well... fun is all in the way you look at it I suppose, ;)

basically its committing to memorizing 2 Bible verses per month for the year so that at the end of the year you've learned 24 new verses. There are so many reasons why to memorize scripture but I thought it might be fun and challenging to give it a little twist of my own... I plan to memorise 2 verses a month for the year, but one of the verses each month is gonna be in Lunda ;)

Once upon a time it used to be no problem at all for me to sit down and memorize a chapter in a week... those days are LONG! gone and with it most of the desire to memorise, but this seems a relatively simple and rather practical way to go about this discipline of memorizing which seems to elude me. I'm also working on trying to convince one of my roomies to join me in this challenge except she'd skip the Lunda and try for mandarin since that's the language she's working on learning ;)

so folks, feel free to challenge me on my verses... I love to share ;) And I presume, when I finally get to Zambia, there will be many people there to correct my terrible massacre of the language

January's Verses

Chaswejeliyi Nzami kukena mpata yamunu mwishina, wayinkeli Mwanindi wumu hohu, kulonda muntu wukumukuhwelela aheti wumi wahayanyaka, akabuli kunona.          Yowanu 3:16 (John 3:16)

Only fear the Lord and serve Him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things He has done for you.                                                                                                   1 Samuel 12: 24


http://scripturememorychallenge.blogspot.ca/

Moving, Sorting, Packing

How do you pack a lifetime up into two suitcases and a carryon?

How do you go through prized possessions and decide what is valuable and what is not?

How do you cope with the stress of it all?

 

These questions along with many others have been racing around in my mind these last few days as I’ve sorted and packed and goodwill’ed my room. I think I’m about half way there… my room I mean. I’ve made it through the dresser, the wardrobe and under my bed. Yesterday I made it through my closet… that was a feat! But the filing cabinet is still there and the craft supplies and the two and a half boxes of books not to mention the nursing texts that I have accumulated from various nursing courses. The hardest to go through I think are the books. I read once about a man whole collected books upon books until he had created his own library. I thought that was a cool idea and began collecting accordingly… how do I decide which ones to take? How do I decide which ones to pack? How do I decide which ones to give away?
 

As I pack each box tho, I find a rather unsettling question lingers on my mind, an accusing question. Is this really necessary? Amy Carmichael wandered through India for several years with hardly more than the clothes on her back. Hudson Taylor travelled through China with a few clothes and his medical equipment- the medical equipment was a means simply to reach the people with the truth of Gods grace. Jesus Himself, the one I claim as ‘Lord’, had ‘no where to lay His head’. Maybe it’s just an excuse, but I don’t have faith enough right now for that! Besides, I don’t think God expects that from all of us. Although, I think most of these ones gave up their possessions to show their devotion to their God, not because they felt God expected it of them. Hmm… food for thought, definitely need to ponder that further.

 

Overriding my own stress as I go through this process, is trying to cope with, or function around the stress levels of my roommates and the way they deal with their own stress. But its really cool to see how God is speaking to them in His own way to their own needs and situation.
 

 

And I can't help but be plagued by questions of what will happen to the Teen Night and Sunday School after I leave... not that I'm dispensible... I know I'm not to begin with, and its God's work He doesn't need me and is obviously moving me (and quite possibly both of my roomies) out of the area for a reason... still, this Huge- Tremendous- Illogical- Defies All Reason- Works in Mysterious Ways God that I serve and love is shaking things up around here pretty soundly... what a ripple affect one decision makes... And those kiddos! I love them and I hope none of them are lost in the unheaval if the one pending on the horizon actually happens... But God sees the 'big picture' and He's already got a plan, He's already got everything all worked out... oh me of little faith ;)

 

Moving, you see, is not so much about sorting belongings and packing bags, its about cutting roots in a wide enough circle to transplant the tree without shocking and wilting or killing it, its about changing a way of life, its about removing a wall without damaging the house. Maybe not so much if I were moving from one house to another in the area, like the last move that brought the three of us together... that merely affected where we lived... this affects our living arrangements, the church, the outreaches we are involved in, even my job... although, I'll probably miss them more than they miss me... I'm sentimental that way, and the unit has a life and flow of its own people leaving and coming...

 

I think I like it best how my one roommate described psalm 46 and applied it to her situation...

 

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble

Therefore we will not fear tho we don't know where we're going

Tho the protective mountains around us give way and fall into the sea

And tho everything is unsettled and our foundations are quaking

 

...Come and see what the Lord has done

 

this has been a little meandering I suppose, but its been a while since I last posted anything and thought you all may appreciate an update... oh, and I have good news too in the midst of all of this (which isn't bad just growing) ... my paperwork to apply for entry into the country has been received by the missionary in Zambia who helps out with that process and so they can get started on that... I make actually have entry papers for when I arrive in Zambia :D

 

 

God is with her, she will not fall

God will help her at the break of day

The Lord Almighty is with us, the God of Jacob is our Fortress

Come and see what the Lord has done

He says 'be still and know that I am God'

The Lord Almighty is with us, the God of Jacob is our fortress

                                                                                                       Psalm 46:5,7,8,10,11

Merry Christmas





Labour of Love

It's 2 o'clock in the morning, I've been up since 4 in the afternoon, on my feet since 730 in the evening aside from a brief hour spent charting at midnight. I'm tired, I don't want to be bothered, I just want the rest of the shift to sail smoothly with no problems. I'm waiting for that magical hour: 715: end of shift. Then a brief sleep and I'm up to enjoy my life again, pick out a Christmas tree, go out for dinner with colleagues, curl up in my fuzzy pajamas at a normal hour of sleep with my crocheting and a favourite movie, or maybe snuggled up with my favourite blanket, a flashlight and an old book. ...

And the call bell rings... and its about the 50 millionth time that night... and its one of my patients ... and its one of the patients I had settled not too long ago.... and the irritation starts to rise in my thoughts like bile, the complaints, the murmurings... What does he want now? Can't I have a moment's rest? It's 2 AM, why isn't he sleeping? But I go over and pick up the receiver, 'Can I help you?'
'Can I have the nurse come?'
I modulate my voice so it is gentle, not irritated and ask 'Can she bring you anything?'
'No, I just need the nurse'
I feel the frustration rise a little bit more. I know that I'll get down to that room and he'll ask me to go and get something. Why can't he just tell me what he wants and then he gets it quicker and I can get back to my chair quicker and just sit. These grumbling thoughts fill my heart and mind as I move down the hall to his room.
'Nurse, I'm hot' ....
'(And?!) ... would you like a ice pack made up?'
'Sure, or a wet cloth maybe. Also, I'm having difficulty breathing, and I can't sleep.'
I've given him his sleeping pill about 2 hrs ago and we just gave his puffers less than 1/2 an hr ago. And he's already on oxygen. What more can I do????
'Well, let's try repositioning you so that you are able to sit up better, give your lungs some more room to expand'. He is lying kinda askew in the bed. I reposition him in the bed, tough because he is a big man, easily 200lbs, but he tries to help; I return with an ice pack and a cloth rinsed in cool water.

He thanks me as I leave the room 'you're such a sweetheart' and I cringe inside because I know I'm not, I know I'm annoyed at having to be here, and annoyed that I can't do anything to fix his problems and help him sleep and breathe easily, and annoyed that I have failed again to 'be merciful as my Father in Heaven is merciful'

I return to the nursing station just in time for the call bell to start ringing again. I look at the screen and this time I don't bother to pick up the receiver and ask, this lady is in with an infectious diarrhea, in the last 7 hrs of being on duty I've changed and cleaned her up 7 times. My heart goes out to her, but that doesn't stop the frustration from surfacing yet again.

And then God speaks to me. I can't describe it in any other way. He has spoken His peace directly into my heart. He sends me lyrics of a song I haven't listened to in years. Not quite all at once, but gently a few words at a time, maybe not quite the right words I can't remember, but the words I need at this moment...

With all life's frustrations I need you and I know I do
'Cause the only real peace that I have dear Lord is in You.

Oh God have mercy on me, even tho I have failed to have mercy, even though I have failed to cheerfully serve Your child who was sick. Help me to do better next time. Pour Your love into me so that my words, my voice, my actions, and especially my attitude, my heart is gentle and compassionate, overflowing with your overflowing love. You are love. Change me to be like You. Change me to be love.

And a phrase of a verse dances through my mind 'your labour of love'

And suddenly I understand with unquestionable, unmistakable, distinct clarity exactly what this phrase means. Your labour of love.

Its work. Its hard work. Its demanding, wearying. It can be irksome and burdensome. Its labour. Being love doesn't simply means being nice, its way more than that. Its not just that I serve people, though that's closer, but I can serve from a bitter, hate filled heart. Its not just that I show love or act in a compassionate way, it doesn't matter if I am gentle and self controlled. If there is not love, abundant, ocerflowing, cheeful love in my heart I have failed to 'be love', to 'be like God'. Loving people around me requires doing not just the nice, easy things that come at little cost to myself, it requires responding only in joyful, laughing, self forgetful adandon to the needs of others even when I don't want to do so, even  when it will hurt, even when its 2 AM and I am miserable and exhausted. Labouring in love starts from a heart that is filled with God's love, it requires an attitude of cheerful giving, it responds in sincere joy and rejoices in the opportunity to serve another in their need. Labouring in love is doing the monotonous daily things of life not just without murmuring and complaining, but with joy and rejoicing. Its not just the things I do, its the attitude with which I do them.

Its so hard too write these words. I have failed here so many times. And there is no guarrentee that I will be successful next time, that I will respond in love. Its such a high standard and its so much easier to grumble than to respond in love. But bit by bit God, in love, is labouring in me and one will 'present me [finally] spotless before the throne of His glory with exceeding joy'. In the meantime, 'may the love of Christ control me'



 The love of Christ contrains us... And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again. 2 Corinthians 5:14a,15

Language Lessons

Nidi nakweseki kudiza idimi dawalunda. Chakala mwani!

do you remember all those years of french lessons? Or maybe you didn't have any- I did... I was one of those crazy ones who took french all the way through high school in the hopes of maybe being able to actually learn another language

I remember learning colours and numbers- those were easy

Nouns and names - a little more difficult

Verbs and tenses- HORRENDOUS!

I can tell you three tenses in english- past, present and future. I may use the other ones, but I couldn't identify them- and now you want  me  to identify the tense and congugate the verb to answer in the correct tense and with the right pronoun and the right suffix for the verb based on the pronoun???
I loved my high school french classes, we had lots of fun and had to really cool teachers, but I didn't learn anything... nothing!

And now I'm starting out (or rather picking up again) another language adventure

I am trying to learn the language of the Lunda people. It is difficult.

If I knew how to say 'it is fun' I would also add that in.... but maybe it's better that I don't cuz this time next year I'll probably be tearing my hair out trying to understand this langauge and learn to communicate in it!

but just for interest's sake, I'll share a (quick!) rundown of how this sentence is formed

nidi naku - is basically the phrase 'I am' but this is often shortened to just 'naku'

the verb 'eseka' is the word 'try' ... can you find it in there? The Lunda language 'squishes' words together so that a verb can have multiple prefixes and suffixes and somewhere, not necessarily in the middle, is the root of the verb. In this case the root is 'esek' ... I'm still not sure exactly why the 'a' is dropped and 'i' is added...??? but it happens ;)

'u' before any vowel become 'w' so naku eseki squishes to become nakweski ... Have I lost you yet? It gets easier

'kudiza' is the verb 'to learn'

'idimi' is the noun 'tongue' or in this case 'language'

'dawalunda' very simply means 'of the Lunda'

'Cha' means 'it' ... but only in this case ... depending on the class of the noun...  oh wait, I haven't told you yet that there are 10 classes of nouns and not only is it important to know what class each noun falls into, there are concords (I still don't know what that means exactly) that are prefixed to the nouns that follow and these can change based on whether the noun is singular or plural and whether its a regular prefix, a subjective concord or an objective concord... sigh... now I have to know what mood I'm speaking in too... :S

'kala' means 'difficult' or 'hard to do'

and 'mwani'... that's just a nice word that you add to the end of everything... it's kinda please, thankyou, I'm sorry, hello, good bye and 'I want to be polite' all wrapped up into one.... I think this is my favourite Lunda word ;)

anyway, if you'll excuse me.. I think I'd better get back to my lessons now.. sentence order is the next thing on my list and then maybe I'll get into tenses


The heavens declare the glory of God and the earth shows His handiwork... There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Psalm 19:1,3

Remember...

Remember Me...

Do this in remembrance of Me...

Remember the days of old...

There's something deep inside us that seems to quiver at the thought of being forgotten, something inate across every culture, every country, every period in history, every relationship.

This past Sunday I had the privilege of attending the Breaking of Bread meeting at Highbury Gospel Hall in London, Ontario. It was so refreshing to be able to go to a umm... 'mature' meeting. To be surrounded by those 'old' men and women. You know those ones- the stooped shoulders, the greying hair, the wrinkles... It was different this time though. Something about this 'remembrance meeting' had taken on a new quality, a poignant, and meaningful quality. It seemed as though behind the words, I could sense a deep emotion...

The opening hymn "Amidst us our Beloved stands". Can you see that man rising to offer this hymn for the worshippers to sing, suit and tie, dimming eyes and greying hair, but his heart, oh his heart, so in tune with his Saviour, his Lord, 'our Beloved' he calls Him.

And then another "Remember Thee and all Thy pains/ And all Thy love to me" All Thy love to me...
His love to me...

Its funny, I never thought of this before. But thinking and planning for leaving has given me a new perspective on so many things that are just common place to me, things I've taken for granted as always being there. Yes, Jesus was and is God and the reasons for this meeting where we share bread and wine are manifold and deep. But He also was a man, a human. And I wonder if maybe there was some humanness in this request as well. He was gathered around the table with 11 of His closest friends, His words to them 'with desire I have desired to eat this passover with you before I suffer'. I wonder if maybe He wasn't so different in His heart than we are when we say 'keep in touch', 'email me', 'call me'. Can you see Him there at the table, pondering old memories, conversations, places visited, long chats, people, moments, thoughts, emotions, contemplating what would happen in the next few hours, with foreknowledge viewing human history from the cross till the final end, His people, the ones He died for, struggling, wanting to please Him, but failing, some terribly, the lies that would crop up, the questions and confusion and so He provides a way, a simple way, a memorial meeting with others who love Him also and He asks simply 'remember me'

I've shared with a few people in these last few days about my plans, and each time now that I say 'keep in touch' I can't help but see 'my Beloved' standing behind them asking 'remember Me'. I can't help but feel His heart beat, his strong desire 'remember Me'. There are so many reasons to remember him, but to remember Him because He is my friend and He loves me, well, it sorta takes some of the tradition out of this sacred meeting and brings it to a level that is special and unique. A trysting place of sorts instead of a religious gathering. A place I long to be rather than a place I have to be.

This experience of moving to a completely different country and leaving behind everything and everyone that I know and love, even if it is just for a year, is so daunting; memories of places, of long chats, of smiles and hugs, of burnt pots and burnt popcorn, of escapades and experiences like a kaleidoscope overflow my thoughts, but I'm finding this experience so rich and fraught with deeper meanings. 'My Beloved' has taught me so many things and changed my perspective, deepened it maybe, I wouldn't trade this experience for the world, this opportunity to learn of Him especially, and each time I ask a friend to write, to keep in touch I can't help but turn my heart to Him and whisper 'I will remember Thee'

Remember Thee and all Thy pains
And all Thy love to me
Yea while a breath a pulse remains
Would I remember Thee

How long has it been?

How long has it been since you talked with the Lord?
And told Him your heart's hidden secrets
How long since you prayed?
How long since you stayed
On your knees till the light shone through?

How long has it been since your mind felt at ease?
How long since your heart knew no burden?
Can you call Him your friend?
How long has it been
since you knew that He cared for you?

How long has it been? I am blessed to have had a mother who talked to us children about God, who had texts up on every wall to speak to herself and her little 'mission field', who prayed for our salvation and prays even now for us to follow Him closely. I always knew about God's great sacrifice and at a young age realized what it meant for me. I grew up praying and did not need much encouragement to read my Bible (I probably struggle with those more now than ever I did as a child). God has always been my reality.

I can call Him my friend, I know that He cares for me, that He loves me and that I love Him. I know that I love talking with Him, I am thrilled by the little surprises He sends my way a million times in a day. I know that walking with Him is the greatest adventure ever given to us.

so why is it that so often I hug my burdens to myself?
Why is it, when I know that He knows and that He cares, I wrap myself in my hurts and disappointments and sorrows and allow myself to wonder 'does God really care?'
Why is it that sometimes I can actually let the thoughts linger 'God is out to get me; God wants to take away everything good in my life; God doesn't want me to be happy.' ?
Why is it that I turn to other things instead of Him to ease the ache that can grow inside?
Why is it that I forget to ask, to pray, to share, to pour out my heart to Him?

He tells us 'come boldly before the throne of His grace'.

Sometimes I read this as a command and other times it seems to me to be a plea 'come my child, come the Love of my Heart, come to me and tell me everything, you don't have to be afraid, you don't have to worry, I already know, my grace has already covered it, come as you are, just come and talk to Me.'

And yet, I allow myself to think 'God is probably sick of hearing me; God knows this already; I'm sure He's tired of hearing from me on the same subject, the same fears, the same struggles, the same sins, the same hurts, the same confusion. Why bring it up again?' And so time slips away, moment by moment by day and I hug to myself my thoughts and burdens like some sort of security blanket.

But, ever so patiently, God places in my path, in my heart His word, His voice 'that's ok little daughter, it's been a long time, come tell me again and let me comfort you.' And He does.

Some times I almost miss it, some times its such a small thing that I almost think that can't be it, sometimes its so huge I can hardly believe it. One day it was a package in the mail that I never thought I'd see, another day it was a letter, or sometimes its a good visit with friends; those tend to be the big things, the things I talk about for weeks and sometimes months after.

But today, its a small thing, and its enough. I have my eyes back where they belong, my heart open once again to the healing love of my Saviour, and the courage to press forward when fear is screaming 'go back go back'. Today its a simple verse that came up on my fb wall of all places, but today God knew I needed this, today this is my reminder that I am God's and He has me in His hands. Today He told me 'be strong and have courage, don't be afraid and don't allow discouragement to overtake you. The Lord your God is with you wherever you go'

How long has it been since you knelt by your bed
And prayed to the Lord up in heaven?
How long since you knew that He’d answer you
And would keep you the long night through?

How long has it been since you woke with the dawn
And felt that the day’s worth the living?
Can you call Him your friend?
How long has it been
since you knew that He cared for you?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fe_kllNKXE0